


i should've cut you out right at the start

by aislingdoheanta



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-11
Updated: 2014-06-11
Packaged: 2018-02-04 05:31:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1767262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aislingdoheanta/pseuds/aislingdoheanta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mickey wonders at exactly how he ended up falling in love Ian Gallagher.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i should've cut you out right at the start

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to [this song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frNpdG4F9mw)for a while and this idea just sort of emerged. (I fucking love Tim Minchin) 
> 
> Posted originally to my [tumblr. ](http://saras-almanac.tumblr.com/post/87484522820/fic-a-day-in-may-day-thirty-one)

Mickey Milkovich didn’t  _fall_  in love so much as the tide kept rising around him until he was completely submerged and half drowning. So he doesn’t really know  _when_ it happened.

He just knows that it did and it’s all Gallagher’s fault.

Mickey had always heard, from Mandy and every fucking movie with a romance that you  _fell_  in love. It was accidental, but  _obvious._ That you know the moment that it happened. That it’s a force that you feel in your very soul and it changes you forever.

That had never happened with Gallagher. And he’d been looking for it, ready to crush those feelings at the first brush. Because Milkoviches didn’t fall in love, they didn’t have happily ever afters and Mickey was going to stop that before it got too far. Though it wasn’t like he’d really thought he’d develop this  _thing_  for the kid.

But it’d happened, and it had happened over time. Ian had somehow snuck through his defenses until he entirely consumed him until there was no going back.

It wasn’t supposed to end up like this. It was only supposed to be sex, a few quick fucks and maybe a blowjob or two if Mickey was lucky.

Ian had intrigued him when he snuck into the Milkovich house and demanded the gun back and Mickey was pissed off, hung over, annoyed, but mostly impressed at the balls this kid had. Then they’d somehow managed to fuck and goddamn it, that kid wasn’t the best fuck of his life.

So of course Mickey went back. It was just for sex. It was convenient, Gallagher was Southside, gay, and fucking willing. Not to mention Mickey had no fear of him telling people because who’d believe him anyway?

Then Mickey started looking forward to their quick fucks at the Kash and Grab. But it was just because the kid was a god at fucking. That was it.

Until it wasn’t—well, until it wasn’t the  _only_  thing. Because the kid had come to find Mickey— _Mickey Milkovich—_ when he had been upset. No one, apart from Mandy but she didn’t count, ever came to Mickey for fucking comfort. No one would want to.

Of course Gallagher wouldn’t listen. And Mickey found himself wondering what had been eating the kid because he looked half crazed and like he wanted to cry. So when he’d grabbed his hand mid-fuck, Mickey had just let him instead of swatting it away. That should have been the first clue.

Even when he had been shot, Ian had been right there to stay with him while they waiting for medics to patch him back up. He had made sure Mickey even had money while in juvie and had even come to visit him.

Gallagher told him he missed him.

Mickey never heard those words before, so he let Gallagher talk about West Point and school and the fucking army all summer. He let Gallagher get him a job because he needed to prove to himself that Gallagher didn’t really mean it like Mickey feared he did.

Turned out Mickey actually liked hanging out with Gallagher because he was smart, but never made Mickey feel dumb. He was funny and interesting and genuinely  _liked_  being around Mickey. Whenever the kid was visiting his sister, he would always get this stupid look on his face when Mickey would join them and always tried to press against him in subtle ways.

Eventually Mickey stopped pushing him off. Maybe that should have been the second clue to what was happening.

It didn’t even occur to him for a second why he didn’t go through with his threat against Frank. Yeah, he didn’t do it because he’d known that Gallagher was upset and he didn’t really want to be the reason for it. But he also didn’t want to get locked up and come out to find out that Ian had fucking enlisted or some shit.

He hadn’t visited that time and Mickey had wondered why.

And when things fell into place with them—like Ian consistently choosing Mickey over the old fucks and fucking and star-gazing and all that other gay shit—Mickey didn’t question it. He actually hadn’t really realized that things had differed so much between them.

Because it was just so easy and natural to let his guard down around Gallagher. This should have been the huge fucking neon sign for what was happening.

Even after all hell broke loose and Mickey laid in bed actually wishing for fucking Gallagher, though vehemently denying it in his own mind, it didn’t compute. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t stop thinking of the kid and why he wanted to tell him, tell him everything when Gallagher had found him in those abandoned buildings.

But Mickey had known the second that Ian said he was really leaving and he could only get out a chocked, “Don’t” that he loved him. He had known that it was only the promise of having Ian surround him and help him remember who he really was, who he could be with Ian, that got him through all that shit between his dad and Svetlana. And then the asshole said he was leaving and Mickey couldn’t stop him. He hadn’t thought he’d wanted to until the words forced themselves out.

It was too little too late.

So Mickey pretended it didn’t happen. Went out to drink himself into forgetting about green eyes and freckles and red hair and smug smiles and laughing and strong arms and being held and feeling safe and just everything. Because, love didn’t happen to people like Mickey.

And he sure as hell wasn’t going to let it beat him.

Until of course, he’d seen Ian take a pill from that old dick in the club and he’d gone into full protective mode and he felt his heart split when he told Ian he didn’t have to hang out with him.

He was in fucking love with Ian Gallagher. And it was like the pieces fell into place at that.

All the secret smiles and sneaking touches. How he felt giddy in Ian’s presence, like he’d drank an entire bottle of something. Why he felt like just giving up while Ian had been away.

Of course, he freaked out. How the fuck was he supposed to handle this?

Mickey knew that he should have been angry. He should have been fucking furious that he hadn’t ended things with the kid a long time ago before it could get this far.

But right now, sleeping with Ian practically draped around him it didn’t feel so horrible to be in love. So Mickey was willing to forgive Ian for causing it to happen in the first place.


End file.
